Call me a sinner...

**Note: please don't read if you are easily offended on the topic of religion! Not trying to offend.. just writing my point-of-view! :) **

So now that the kids are getting to "that age" where a decision has to be made, Brandon and me had the big talk about what religion we were going to raise our family. This topic has been semi-wearing on me since they were born. Brandon and me both went to Catholic school growing up. We were born, raised, and married Catholic. So when Leo and Carm were born, naturally we had them baptized in the church. I wasn't sure why we did this. Neither of us go to church. We tried several when we got married, but realized that none of them were a good fit for us. But I guess we just felt that maybe as the kids got older we would end up succumbing to being church-goers and put the kids in CCD. Because....... well, again, I really don't know why! (enter guilt I suppose). This is where I believe I can be categorized as *gasp* a sinner!!!

Because the thing is, church is, well, BORING. There - I said it. B.O.R.I.N.G. I may get struck by lightning for saying it, but I just don't like it! Even as a kid, my favorite part of mass was communion because I knew the end would soon be following. I had so many daydreams during church. I loved watching the other parents trying to shush their kids by pulling out coloring books, dolls, games. I fidgeted, swayed, stared at Christ just hanging there.... just to keep my eyes open. All the while going through the mechanical motions of being a Catholic in church - like programmed robots.

As a small child growing up in Catholic school, on the contrary, was wonderful. We attended a school that was a real community. My parents were really involved, we knew everyone there. It felt good to be a part of it. And yeah - at one point I actually did want to become a nun! I really did enjoy religion class and enjoyed the thought of giving back. But we moved, joined a new church, and it never was the same. And as I have grown I have come to see the hypocrisy of things - the cover-up for some horrific occurrences - the greed - the man-made rules and the reasoning behind them, etc. I know people who still feel guilty eating meat on Fridays during Lent - and they haven't set foot inside a church for years!

During our class to baptize Carmela, one of the parents asked if instead of giving a donation to have their child baptized, could they possibly offer some type of service if they did not have money. The answer was a resounding "No". My response to that: Yuck. Seriously!!? And there are lots of things like this that really bother me. Another is the fact that the church doesn't support surrogacy or IVF. Because somehow that is interfering with God's plan. But apparently cancer treatments, medications, hospital visits, etc., are not interfering with God's plan (which to me is plain hypocrisy right there - you get cancer - you were meant to die - get chemo and you just screwed up God's plan too!). But apparently the church has the right to decide which man-made technologies are accepted by God and which are not. I mean, really? And you know, I am by no means bashing Catholicism. I know a lot of people who get a LOT out of being a part of it. I think the reason for religion is to give you guidance in life to be a good person and live a good life. And no matter what religion it is, if you can get that from it then it is a very very good thing. For me though, it wasn't cutting it.

My main reason for not wanting to send the kids to CCD is that we don't go to church. How can I send them somewhere to learn something and then not follow it myself? Hypocrisy of course! The old "Do as I say, not as I do". No, I won't do that to my kids. So my next thought was no religion at all. Which doesn't seem right to me either - I believe we need something to help us teach them or guide them through life. So my NEXT thought was, okay, instead of going to church on Sundays, we would spend the weekends (or at least a few times throughout the month) doing volunteer activities as a family or participating in non-profit organizations. This, I thought, would give the kids their moral and ethical backgrounds to make good decisions as people and feel good about doing decent things.

This is when we came across Buddhism from a person we work with. Buddhism???!! Weird - we can't possibly be Buddhists. That's just.... weird... right?! But the temple we came across was putting their weekly discussions on podcasts so Brandon downloaded some and made me listen. And they were, to my surprise, interesting! Captivating. To the point that I wanted to listen to them again just to really understand the messages being spoken. We decided to meet with the main Buddhist monk and explain our situation to see if it would indeed make a good fit to our beliefs. And it's just really odd - it is everything I wanted to teach the kids in a package. Everything we were looking for in a religion. And it's really not a religion. It's taught as a way of life. You can be as involved, or as little involved as you like. There is no guilt - no expectation of money (which ironically makes me want to donate more!) - nothing like that. If something they are teaching doesn't make sense to you, you are taught to question it and not follow it. Their goal is to teach you how to be happy and plainly be a good person and live a good life by giving back without expectations in return. It's the only "religion" that has never had blood-shed or persecution attached to spreading the following of it. The only religion where the founder (i.e. Buddha) never claimed to be a god or be any different than any other human being. They don't pretend to know the answers in life, just to give you something to follow. And you can still believe in God, believe in heaven, whatever it is that helps you get by. We also asked about holidays - curious what their take would be on celebrating things like Christmas and Easter. Their response to this is that you can still celebrate throughout the year, just make the holidays about celebrating family and make them times to focus on being together. Which, really, is what we were doing anyhow!

This specific temple also had a kid's program once a month, which was so perfect! The room the kids program was held in though was fairly small and they could only have so many kids at a time in there. I saw kids having to be turned away and thought how sad that was, so I offered to teach a second session a month. This is great for me because it forces me to really research and learn the Buddhist beliefs and principles. And I LOVE getting the chance to work with kids. They are so cute and innocent and I think the teachings of the Buddha are wonderful for their little growing minds. We do a little yoga, a meditation with a story, and a craft at each class.

Me and my Buddha Kids showing off their handmade lanterns

I can't know for sure I am raising good kids. I think as parents we strive to do the best we can, and then we sit back with our fingers crossed. There's no right way to parent that will end with a successful adult. Will they grow up and make good choices? Will they follow the path of a giving and loving person? I can only give them the pieces - when they are older it will be their job to put the puzzle together. For now I am just hoping that Buddhism might act as the glue :)